From Surviving To Thriving

It's only been a few months, and already, several lessons have been learned.  

I could say - "I'm learning the lesson of what I took for granted" or "I've become more thankful for all I had in the United States."  What are these?  The convenience of having work, home, and school within a 2-mile radius for several years, having friends and family close by, and simply feeling a sense of rootedness and place.

But for me, I would add it's realizing not just what we had, but also how a big part of my life was bent on obtaining or striving for what we had.  It moves past the general sense of providing for family in necessary income or work and more towards building my own little kingdom with my ego at the center.  I know I'm alone in this.  It's easy for me to be focused on the white-picket-fence, dream home, or perfect bubble to raise kids and establish your family reputation.  These are all good things, don't get me wrong.  Yet I can see how easy it is to be inordinately focused on such good things without realizing you are, and even saying you're not.  And in my case, I saw it was to the detriment of my family's own inner life, meaning I was less in tune with my family rhythms as a father and husband in the United States than I would prefer to admit.

Here and now in France, it's become more about surviving first, hoping to thrive later. And I'm learning perhaps the real thriving lies in the surviving.  When you have to work together to make basic things happen, it does build a team spirit within the family and we really grow together.

I've also learned the majority of my relationships in the United States were people pretty much like me.  There were differences, yet really they were in the 40-60 yard range t0 use an American football analogy image, a sport I am missing quite a bit.  For example, Mississippi State versus Ole Miss -- we have much more in common than otherwise.  True cross-cultural relationships, not simply peripheral associations, will stretch you.

Here I can't simply talk about American sports to make a simple connection with other men.  Why?  Because a majority of them - ones I have met in the last two weeks from Malaysia, France, Brazil, Martinique - don't follow SEC college football or MLB baseball (my favorite and very foreign in Europe) or deer hunting.  I have to work harder to find common interests, so thankfully, I still have my love of books and films to rely on, but even those I may have to do some stretching.

Stretching, as any athlete will tell you, is meant to be painful.  Yet it also makes you more elastic, able to run longer and do more, with less injury.  So stretching, in all its forms, is good for me, good for us.  But it's something I have had to learn because it does not come naturally for me, it's harder for me - more than I want to admit - but more fruitful than I imagined. 

John Hugh T and his family serve as GlobalGrace missionaries in Paris France.